so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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