I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?