my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.