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after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
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