I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
