finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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