Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
