I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We left the knife in your bed.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
