drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
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My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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