Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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