i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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