you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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