He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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