Sponge bath it is.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
