My room smells like vodka and shame
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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