he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
