These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
