youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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