and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize