can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
