he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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