Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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