I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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