i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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