rhymes with "ouble enetration"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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