Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
