Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Welp...herpes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
