I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
