I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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