she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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