I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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