Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
