I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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