did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
