I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.