You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?