he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
