I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
