So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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