Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
