Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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