can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
