What a fucking waste of an outfit
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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