Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize