i just wanna soil my oats bro
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He? As in you personified your dick?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
