I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
