i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He felt like a one man threesome
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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