Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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