I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize