Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
