So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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