So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize