:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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