First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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