it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
MIDGETS
????
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
