I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
