Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
