the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
