so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
