a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
