You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
