If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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