I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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