So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
