OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
