I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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